I’ve thought about starting a blog about eating disorder recovery for years. Being a recovering perfectionist, I always had an excuse preventing me. Too busy with school, too many ideas for blog names, too cheap to pay for a domain name, the list goes on and on. Well, enough was enough — I finally pulled the trigger.
The timing of this blog launch is directly linked to the events of 2020. During the spring, I relapsed hard with my eating disorder. The isolation, stress and loneliness of the Covid lockdown brought back a surge of disordered eating habits. It was my way of exerting some form of control in such ~unprecedented~ times. This control was only a mirage.
Isolation + anxiety = perfect relapse storm
The toll on my mental and physical health was noticeable and devastating. I remember lying in bed thinking: Is this how I wanted my life to be? An endless cycle of relapse and recovery? I finally committed myself to seeing a new therapist who specialized in eating disorder and body image issues. This wasn’t my first rodeo — I’ve seen over 10 therapists in 10+ years of eating disorder recovery. Partly because I was constantly moving back and forth with school, and also because I struggled to find the “right fit.”
This time it would be different, I told myself. I took extensive notes during our sessions, did extra readings, followed through on my homework and began to look forward to our weekly chats. (Still, there were countless times I was tempted to give up — like when I broke down over going grocery shopping or could barely zip up my jeans.) Most importantly, I made the mental shift of accepting I had relapsed and wanted to put in the work to recover fully.
This is the outcome of my latest commitment to recovery: a blog that holds me accountable. I’ll be writing about the struggles, stigmas and silver linings of eating disorder recovery, with the goal of creating a community for others who have been through similar experiences.
Eating Disorder Recovery Blog Guidelines:
- No before/after pictures
- No mention of calories, weight or numbers related to ED behaviours
- No glorifying of eating disorders
- No fatphobia or body shaming
- No diet tips/weight loss advice
I’m excited to shed the secrecy and shame of eating disorders once and for all. Thank you for reading and following along. 
Disclaimer: All content and information on this website is for informational and educational purposes only, and does not constitute medical, psychological or health advice of any kind. Read full Disclaimer here.
For medical advice, please speak to a doctor or contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre.
Chloe,
I just finished reading your piece that was on the front page on my CNN app. It has brought up a lot of feelings (both good and bad) about my journey with bulimia and being in the Canadian (Ontario) healthcare system even as I am almost in my 40s.
I just started reading the blog and likely will have some kind of question or comment. What I can say in this moment right now is simple and that would be thank you.
Thank you, Justine, for taking the time to leave a comment on my eating disorder recovery blog. I can certainly emphasize with some of what you’ve been through, it’s not easy. Wishing you all the best on your own ED recovery and know that there are many of us who are rooting you on! I’m also always open to suggestions if anything comes to mind.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Chloe!
I can’t imagine the strength it took to share this publicly, but I’m honoured to read your blog posts and learn what I can about your experiences.
The website looks great, btw!
I appreciate the lovely feedback, thanks Sean! It really makes me happy to hear that the blog is helpful in offering a different perspective. I also wanted the look to be clean and not take away from the content 🙂
Dear Chloë,
I’m so glad you are starting a blog and sharing your story. It’s important to stay connected to others, and I’m sure along the way you will help many people going through similar struggles.
I’m just starting to read here but wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your blog and your story. As you know I have struggled with eating disorders when I was in my teens and 20s too, and I know what it feels like. I can imagine the anxiety and stress of COVID would make it so much more difficult. I hope the writing process is healing and therapeutic for you, and lets you connect with others for support.
I’m wondering if you’ve come across Health at Every Size and Intuitive Eating? I’m sure you have, but in case there are those who haven’t, these are communities that might be helpful. I have friends who’ve found these 2 communities in particular really helpful in their own disordered eating struggles, reading the books, listening to podcasts, and even finding therapists who are trained in these modalities. HAES is a body positivity community; very anti-diet, where the focus is more on health and (as you say!) strength, than on external qualities. It’s mostly focusing on the cultural myths around obesity, but the anti-diet research is really interesting too. Intuitive Eating is probably something more for your situation, it’s about mindful eating, and making peace with your body by figuring out how to listen to the body rather than any sort of external metrics; eating what your body is asking for, rather than allowing that process to be circumvented by any sort of social norms or self-imposed metrics. For anyone struggling with disordered eating this is much easier said than done, but the book is about finding out how to do that. It’s definitely a journey!
I’ve been listening to this podcast lately – you might find it helpful too!
https://christyharrison.com/foodpsych
<3 hugs to you! Stay strong! 🙂
Steph, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a beautiful comment. I remember you telling me about your struggles with disordered eating and how much of a role yoga helped play for you. You inspire me in so many ways. And yes, I have heard of HAES and Intuitive Eating! Both such important movements that totally flipped the lens on how I approached food. Great ideas for future posts, thank you ? I will also have to check out that podcast!
Hi Chloë,
Thanks for telling us about your experiences.
Assume that I’m a convinced Darwinist. Do you think that there is any genetic component to not eating adequately — i.e., is there any survival value for the species to have some individuals who deviate from the norm?
Perhaps having a few such people in a small community might avoid having everyone die from food poisoning that comes from eating rotten meat.
Just a thought.
Thanks, Leonard! That’s an interesting question and not something I had considered before. Some seem to suggest “the sexual competition hypothesis for eating disorders where the drive for thinness can be seen as an originally adaptive strategy for women to preserve a nubile female shape.” There is a good article on this topic here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6220092
Fabulous work, Chloë !!
Courage, creativity and compassion – you have it all <3
Looking forward to each new post
Thank you so much ❤
Aw Chloe, you are amazing! I’m so happy for you and your courage to share your journey. You are strong and you will no doubt support others through their own journey too!
Thank you, Amelia! I really appreciate the support 🙂